American Puppet

Life is an interesting thing to critique. A critical analysis of life can be overwhelmed with uniqueness. A lot of people may imitate what is seen in movies or on television, which would lack originality, but the bizarre fixations that happen in life are completely unique and original. The way imitations from movies and television which support racism and form the racial constructions that remain still today throughout society. However the way someone endures these racial constructions throughout the person’s life is again original. The authenticity of life itself offers a critical autobiography a novel that could weekly be updated and re-issued. My endurance through these very common actions like divorce, racism, the conservative teaching structures of elementary and high schools, and how it has formed me into who I am today. That is what this chapter will focus on.
I grew up in a predominantly white town, to a mother who is a first generation Mexican American and a father that is Caucasian American growing up I don’t remember my mom being around much because she had a problem with alcohol so we, my little sister and I, were either with my dad, at the babysitter, or with my mom’s parents. My mom and dad’s divorce was difficult to cope with but it was not really hard because I was old enough to realize that what my mom was doing was wrong. I was five years old and my sister was only two years old, so out of the two of us she had a harder time coping with the divorce throughout her childhood. I think the fact that my sister was a female that it made it harder on her as well not having mom around. I don’t have any hard feelings towards my mom because I think she went through something I am not aware of while she was growing up and she used alcohol to get through her problems. Being educated to the level that I am today I understand why she wasn’t there for us growing up and I have forgiven her for not being there for me when I was young. Now my mother has turned the page in life and is there for us in anyway she can. That is what I cherish the most is that she has conquered her alcohol dependence and is now able to be there for her children.
Because of my dad working forty to fifty hours a week we stayed at our mom’s parents house a lot. My grandparents taught me the importance of family in Mexican tradition. The unique rituals that are sacred, the culture that is strong and very different from American culture, the tales that my grandparents shared all have instilled me with Mexican pride. This installation of pride that I had obtained in my childhood combined with the things I continue to learn about everyday has helped me form into a better rounded individual whose proud to be from Mexican ancestry. As I began to analyze the Mexican traditional structure of family I realized how closely bonded the whole family (cousins, uncles and aunts, etc.) was and well we all get along during the holidays. These beautiful experiences has made me appreciate my heritage and who I am. Though being proud of my Mexican heritage, I was often made to feel inferior throughout my childhood because of the racial constructions that even elementary students pick up on. I often fit in early in elementary school because I had my fathers surname and I am not a darker skin toned Mexican. However I had a minority state of mind so I began to show how I differed from the rest of the students at the school. The racial jokes that I heard in elementary school angered me whether about Mexicans or any other minority group. I decided not to make a scene but then when I heard a joke that referred to Mexicans and I saw two other Mexican Americans laughing at the joke, I came out of my inferior shell and said what was on my mind. That day in fifth grade I realized that I needed to accept that I need an education but I don’t need racist friends who will not accept me for who I am. I began to just attend school to get an education. I also began to focus on baseball a lot in junior high school which was fun but I played with all those guys that ridiculed me. I found the guys to be friendlier to me during baseball season than the rest of the school year. The realization of this made me have to make a decision whether to accept this or quit baseball. I decided that I shouldn’t let the actions of others keep me from playing a sport I loved, so I continued to play. I began to lead other baseball players from being so closed minded and convinced them to hang out with some of my minority friends. I think a lot of them realized that they were racist because they feared what they didn’t know, being white and growing up around all white people. This little gesture opened up the minds that had preconceived notions about minorities because of what they learned from media and their racist family members. This is when I realized I wanted to be a leader for minority groups in general. I felt that we can’t just assimilate and laugh with them about jokes that are degrading to society. Leading by example is what I have tried to do since then. Being a leader is something I feel I obtained when I started to try and change the racial constructs in my school. Racism is an issue that can be debated for years, but the historical hold that race carries is powerful still today and will continue because it is profitable in a capitalistic society. The government shows acts of racism everyday when they give their opinions on immigration and border control. Racism equals money in American society from the urban wear (South Pole, Sean Jean, ENYCE, etc.) to the popular wear (Abercrombie and Fitch, Aeropostale, Old Navy, etc.). Enduring racism and trying to make sense of it has helped me also feel like I need to lead by example and prove stereotypes wrong, but in doing so I am making more money for the government that lets media instill racism still in society. These are issues that I struggle with today in life whether anything can really change and not just look like change but have hidden loopholes to benefit the dominant class. When I think of life critically these questions are what come to mind a lot throughout life on why all white European countries and the United States have racial privilege for the white race. The other thing that critique in my life is the conservative teaching style that I went through all my life from kindergarten thru twelfth grade. All these classes were constructed to make students of mass numbers to be submissive to teachers (who are definitely the minority in population in comparison to the student body). This construction is perfect to set the population to submit decisions to be made by the minority government as well throughout life. The next problem with the education process was my inability to think for myself. Many students even at a young age ask questions about everything and question what really true, but in school we are taught things to memorize and we are not able to question the validity of what it is we learned it was taken as fact and no student discussions were taken into account.